A guy just came to my house while I was home alone to ask if I was single why are men like this
Okay y'know what I’m gonna soapbox for a hot minute
When I was in high school, a man who I’d thought was the parent of a school friend followed me out to the grocery store parking lot greenhouse where I worked. It was dark, and late, and it was me, alone, in a chain link enclosure with one exit and a register full of cash. He called me up to the fence and asked if I wanted to get dinner, or go dancing. I was scared and shaking and told him no several times, and he only left when I falsely said I had a boyfriend. I was very aware that if he were to come over the fence, or just wait at the exit until I eventually had to leave, I could do nothing about it.
When my hair was very short, a hairdresser sent me to the barber’s side of the store so they could get the back of my head with clippers. The barber followed me out to my car to ask me out afterwards. I was very aware that we were the only people in the parking lot when it happened, and that the lot itself was tucked behind the building with no clear visibility to the road.
Today, a man I’ve met once made it very clear he knows where I live, and used that knowledge to express a romantic interest. If he ever decides that he’s unhappy with how I responded, he knows where I live. He knows what my car looks like. It is impossibly easy for him to determine when I’m home alone, and now I have to live with that knowledge.
Every woman I know has at least one story like this. My roommate had to be escorted to her car every night when she was a waitress, in case some man was waiting for her or a coworker’s shift to end.
If the person you want to ask out cannot physically run away from you when you are asking, YOU CANNOT ASK THEM OUT. You cannot ask someone out if they are at work. You cannot ask someone out if you’ve followed them to a remote/unoccupied/enclosed area. You cannot GO TO SOMEONE’S HOME UNINVITED to ask them out. You are not being romantic. You are not “taking initiative”. You are terrifying the person you want to woo. If they say yes, it is not because they want to, it is because they are terrified of what might happen if they say no.
I’m so tired of being terrified by men who think they’re being romantic.
I just want to yell so many good things about Britney Spears. Look at this parenting right here; rather than just twist their arms and tell the ‘smile or no McFlurry on the drive home’ she’s checking if her little boys are comfortable with the cameras and attention and if not, no problem baby boy, you go chill. And I have no problem with her staying to get more pictures, especially not when her other adorable kid wants to. I mean, it’s her job up to a point. And we all know for a fact she probably watched the film with both the little bugs in her lap anyway.
Considering what she dealt with and went through in front of paps….god, I love her.
people can say what they want about her supposed meltdown, but frankly, that entire ‘episode’ always made perfect sense to me. she and i are of an age, and no matter how young or old i was, i always understood perfectly why she did it, and thought it was utter bullshit that a court could order what they did, instead of reprimanding the many, many people that felt so entitled to her that they drove her to extremes just to get 5 seconds of peace.
and now seeing this kind of thing? she has just gotten more awesome.
i remember reading how she got herself a tutor so she could help her kids with their homework. not got THEM a tutor, but she got herself one because she wanted to be the one helping them. that’s a+++ parenting right there ok?
This makes me so happy :’)
She got a court order because she was, by her own admission, raising her kids like her mother raised her. The judge sent her to therapy and parenting classes to work out all of the horrible stage-mother bullshit she had to live through. I mean, she thought it was normal to give her kids cough syrup and whiskey so they’d sleep, because it’s what her mother gave her to knock her out when she got rowdy.
I think Britney is a great role model for adult abused children and is living proof that you are not trapped in the cycle of abuse.
The purest 90s kid experience is being so happy for Britney Spears in her new life
(Source: blairwaldorfings, via tyleroakley)